


Two broken boys

by myhead_myuniverse



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Broken Alex, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jalex - Freeform, M/M, Mention of abuse, hurt justin, mention of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 09:51:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10874298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myhead_myuniverse/pseuds/myhead_myuniverse
Summary: He almost gave in as Justin’s lips pressed against his. But he couldn’t, he swore to himself that the last time was really the last. He pressed both hands against his chest, pushing him gently.- We can’t keep doing that, Alex said almost in a whisper.- What? Why? Justin breathed out.- Because we can’t keep drowning our guilt in each other.- And why not? He said slightly annoyed.- It’s not healthy Justin! You’re using me for what? So you’ll feel better for like half an hour and then it gets worse doesn’t it? Sex won’t help you Foley, like alcohol won’t help Jessica…- Fuck you. Like I would know what healthy is, he chuckled heartlessly, grabbing his bag before storming out of the room.





	Two broken boys

**Author's Note:**

> I just felt the need to address that I don't support or excuse what Justin has done. This is fiction, none of this is real.  
> Enjoy ;)

**_ Two broken boys _ **

 

He almost gave in as Justin’s lips pressed against his. But he couldn’t, he swore to himself that the last time was really the last. He pressed both hands against his chest, pushing him gently.

    - We can’t keep doing that, _Alex said almost in a whisper._

    - What? Why? _Justin breathed out._

    - Because we can’t keep drowning our guilt in each other.

    - And why not? _He said slightly annoyed._

    - It’s not healthy Justin! You’re using me for what? So you’ll feel better for like half an hour and then it gets worse doesn’t it? Sex won’t help you Foley, like alcohol won’t help Jessica…

    - Fuck you. Like I would know what healthy is, _he chuckled heartlessly, grabbing his bag before storming out of the room._

***********************************

Alex thinks it started shortly after Clay listened to Justin’s second tape. Justin’s fucked up mind had stopped on him.

    - You’re hot Standall, _he had whispered brushing passed him as he was going through his locker._

At first he thought it was a joke, the guys laughing at him after he drunkenly admitted he liked guys too, much to his father disappointment. But turned out it wasn’t, and Justin had already took interest in him.

The first time happened in the locker room after their gym class. Alex had taken his time enjoying the silence around him before he inevitably had to come out. He hadn’t seen him before Justin pinned him against the wall.

Panicked, he looked at Justin like he wanted to kill him.

    - What the…

Then, Justin’s lips were on his and just like that he was kissing him back, bringing their body together. Justin pressed himself closer, slipping his hands under the blond shirt.

    - Foley, what are doing? _He panted breaking the kiss._

    - What does it looks like I’m doing? _He replied kissing down his neck._

    - But, fuck, _he moaned as Justin sucked a mark on his collarbone,_ why?

    - Too much question Standall, _he said bringing their mouths back together._

Justin finished on his knees that day, a place Alex would have never imagined him and then he left. He left Alex sitting alone half-naked on the floor, wondering what the fuck happened.

It kept going after that, one quick text and a place to meet and that was it. It helped both of them feel better for a little while until it didn’t anymore. Until Alex was getting worst and worst, guilt eating him up. He had killed Hannah and he couldn’t keep ignoring it like the others were.

On one of the worst nights he called Justin, to help him feel better and it did but when the man left, everything became worst, he felt cold and empty. That’s when he understood, what they were actually doing, drowning their feelings in each other and it just wasn’t healthy. They were driving each other further into the darkness, pulling each other down.

It took a while before he actually was able to break it off, addicted to Justin but he finally did it.

He couldn’t bring Justin down with him.

***************************************

    - I’ll get it, _he said jumping of his place._

Anything, not to talk with his dad. He opened his door to a sad Justin looking at him like his eyes were begging him to do something.

    - Look, I know this is weird but do you think I can crash here tonight?

    - Seriously? _He said but he knew he couldn’t resist him._

    - I know but Zach and Jessica aren’t answering me and I can’t go back home. _He said looking at the ground._

He nodded inviting him in.

**************************************

    - I can sleep on the floor, _Justin said with a small voice._

    - Don’t be an asshole, _Alex sighed._ My bed’s big enough.

Alex knew he shouldn’t have said it but he craved Justin’s body against his so much. He knew he shouldn’t but he just couldn’t help it. He had never seen the boy in such a broken state and it just seemed to pull him toward the other, to make him want to take Justin in his arms. But he didn’t, didn’t let out even a small smile and laid under his covers facing away from the broken boy.

**************************************

It must have been almost two in the morning when he woke up. His eyes stayed close, he must have turned in his sleep because he could feel Justin’s body close to his chest, his breath against his neck. He could feel Foley’s hands under his shirt and their legs intertwined. His breath hitched in his throat. He didn’t move, didn’t dare, maybe he could play it off like he never noticed.

    - I know you’re awake Standall, I can feel you shaking, _Justin mumbled against his chest._

He let out a breath he didn’t know he held in.

    - I’m sorry, _Justin whispered pushing himself of the other man._

    - Wait, _he said holding him back._ Please stay, _he whispered back._

He nodded pressing himself back against Alex’s chest who held him tight.

    - I’m sorry, _Justin said once more,_ I’m sorry I fucked you up.

    - You didn’t, _he said lips pressed against the basketball player’s head._ I did it myself.

He sighed wrapping his hands in Alex’s shirt.

    - I need you, _Justin hissed as his voice broke,_ you don’t know how much I do and… And it’s not just about sex… It’s about… It’s about the darkness that’s inside of me but it just… It goes away when you’re here.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe the cold and empty feeling came from Justin leaving him.

    - I need you too, _Alex admitted,_ because I’m going insane and you just… You keep me alive…

Justin’s hand slipped on his neck bringing him down into a kiss.

***************************************

The sun was burning under his eyelids waking him up slowly. There was a weight on his hips, keeping him from moving around and a hand stroking his cheek.

Justin never knew Alex was such a romantic. He let a smile tug his lips as his hands found their way to the blond’s thighs. Alex's fingertips slowly fell to his shoulder and his collarbone. It's when they reached his neck that he tensed, eyes still closed, unable to face the look of pity that would make him feel like he was weak.

    - You should have told me, _he breathed out._

    - What did you wanted me to say? _He answered opening his eyes as he felt Alex’s lips pressed against his bruised neck._

Again and again, lower and lower until he reached his collarbone. Justin brought him back up into a heated kiss. Their hips were pressed together and Alex could feel the other man grow hard under him.

He broke the kiss in a chuckle as Justin whined.

    - As much as I like this, _he said grinding back against him forcing a moan out of his lips._ My dad’s down stairs and we’ll be late for school.

    - Fuck school, _Justin said sucking down his neck._

Alex smiled at him, kissing him one more time before getting off the bed.

**************************************

Justin wasn’t perfect. Looking from outside Alex always thought Foley was the kind of guy that had a perfect girlfriend, perfect grades, perfect family and was a perfect basketball player. He wasn’t, Alex knew that now. He knew how was his home life, number of time he let a bruised Justin climb in his bed for comfort. He knew he struggled at school and with his friends who never seemed to be there whenever he needed them. He knew him and Jessica never went along that much, using each other for sex. And sometimes, when he looked at his friend, he could see all of this written in his face and he held him tight until he stopped shaking and sobbing. He wondered what he had done to the world to deserve this, than he remembered. He remembered what he did to Jessica and he, too, wanted to hate him but he couldn’t. Didn’t mean he forgave him, just like Justin couldn’t forgive himself. He’d done some pretty bad shit too and he thought they were even now.

He wondered if he looked as broken to Justin as he felt inside.

Like this was really a question, the man could see right through him. Justin never had trouble seeking for comfort but Alex never wanted to show, what his dad would call a weakness, but Justin didn’t need him to say anything to understand something was wrong. He didn’t know what they were and where they were going but he knew he wouldn’t have made it if Justin wasn’t there by his side.

*************************************

Justin was trying so hard to do the right thing, for him, for Alex. He knew he couldn’t take back what he did and never in his whole life will he be able to make up for it. He refused to give this as a reason but the words love and healthy had never lived in his house, with his own mother and her no-life boyfriends. He never mattered to anyone. Anyone but Bryce at the time and Alex now. He tries, he tries to be someone good enough to be seen with Alex. He could see, in Standall’s eyes, how broken he was, how underserving he felt but nothing came even close to what he had done. Alex was wrong, they didn’t pull each other down, they held each other up and kept them from drowning… Like Hannah did…

**************************************

    - Hey babe, _Justin said pecking his lips and taking Alex’s hand in his to pull him inside an empty classroom._

    - Hey, _Alex whispered with a smile before pushing their lips together._ What's up? 

    - Shit day,  _he simply answered tugging him back against him._

They stayed there, making out for a while before the bell rang. Justin’s head fell on his shoulder with a sigh.

    - Hey, the day is almost over, _Alex said running a hand in his hair._ Are you coming to mine after?

He felt him nod.

    - Okay, _Alex whispered pulling Justin’s head back up._ It’s gonna be fine.

    - Yeah,I guess... H _e sighed kissing him one more time before leaving the classroom._

****************************************

The blond was waiting in his car for his boyfriend that should’ve been out like 20 minutes ago. He started to really worry when he received a text.

_Justin: Help_

_Justin: Bryce’s_

He started the car in a hurry, driving fast. His heart was beating so hard in his chest. He pulled up in Bryce’s driveway and jumped out of his car not taking time to turn it off before running towards his backyard. He pushed the door open. The scene in front of him knock the air out of his lungs. Justin was right there kneeling, blood dripping down his hands and his face. His shirt was on the floor and his pants were open though they were still all the way up. He was shaking so bad.

    - Alex, _he whispered with a sob._

    - Joining the fun Standall? _Bryce called out._

Alex’s head snapped toward him. He looked at the man with disgust. Bryce was just as undressed as Justin but he was carrying a proud smile, Alex just wanted to erase from his face.

    - You’re disgusting, _he spat._ You’re fucking sick Bryce.

    - What are you talking about Alex?

The worst is that he looked like he really didn’t know what the fuck he was doing wrong.

    - Jessica and Hannah weren’t enough you had to use your best friend, _he said trying to contain himself._

    - What the fuck are you saying Standall? Justin and I go way back...

    - What?! _He said shocked and everything clicked in his head._

    - We’re having fun together aren’t we Justin? _He said turning to Justin who was finally back on his feet._

    - Oh yeah, _Alex said sarcastically,_ he looks like he’s having so much fun.

    - You of all person should know, he only needs a dick in his mouth to be happy.

That’s when he broke, his fist connecting with Bryce’s nose making him fall backwards from the surprise.

    - Run! _He screamed taking Justin’s hand in his._

They ran back to his car and drove away as fast as he could.

*************************************

They hadn’t say a word since they left Bryce’s house. Justin was now sitting on Alex’s bed, eyes closed with his back against the headboard. Alex came back from his bathroom, bandages and a washcloth in his hands. He straddled his boyfriend who opened his eyes at the contact.

He brought his forehead against Justin's, bumping their nose together, trying to make him relax.

    - I’m just going to clean the cuts on your hands and your face ok? _He asked in a whisper._

Justin nodded unsure he could trust his voice. Alex backed up taking his hand and rubbing the back of it with his thumb. He wrapped the bandages around both of Justin’s hands and almost threw up thinking he made those trying to fight Bryce. He quickly moved on to his forehead where a huge cut was letting blood drip down the right side of his face.

Once he was done, he putted all the things aside and let the other man tug him closer by wrapping his arms around his waist. Justin burried his face in Alex’s shoulder as the blond’s hands found their way to his hair.

They stayed like this for a while reassuring each other.

    - I was so afraid that night, _he sobbed._ I tried to fight for her but he scared me so much…

Alex knew what he was talking about, why he thought he had to talk about it. He understood now.

    - I pushed him away… He told me, _his voice broke,_ he told me that if I didn’t, it would come back to me… on me… and you… I got so scared Alex… Got scared he would find a way to put his hands on you…or on me… again…

Alex froze, shocked. He couldn’t believe Bryce had threaten Justin to rape him instead… Him and the boy he liked.

    - It’s okay baby, _he finally said rubbing a hand down his back._

    - No it’s not, it’s fucking not, _he sobbed._ I should’ve fought for her as much as I fought for you…

Alex held his shaking body tight against him.

    - I should’ve fought for her…For me… I should’ve said something to someone…

He kissed the top of his head as Justin’s arms tighten around him.

    - It’s not too late, _Alex whispered to him._

Their eyes met and Alex couldn’t help but wipe away the tears left on his cheeks.

    - Okay, _he said determined,_ if you come with me I will.

He nodded simply locking their hands together.

    - I’ll come with you whenever you’re ready, _Alex said bringing their foreheads together._

    - I am…

    - Right now?

    - Yes

************************************

He nervously knocked at the door in front of him, he had to do this.

Jessica opened the door and his hands started shaking.

    - Before you start yelling at me, I just have one thing to say then I’m gone.

He took a deep breath, collecting himself up.

    - I’m going to the police… I’m going to tell them what Bryce did… We have Hannah’s cassette and…

She huffed in anger cutting him off. She couldn't fucking believe it, why did he felt like he had the right to do that.

    - And you decided it was your fucking choice to tell them?!! You don’t know shit about how it feels, how hard it is to talk about!! _She yelled._

    - I do… _He said teary eyes looking up at her._ I do…

It took a few seconds before she understood what he was saying. Her hand came in front of her mouth, she should have known, knowing Bryce, knowing Justin.

    - Justin… _She whispered shocked._

 _-_ Don't... Please...

He took a deep breath keeping himself together.

    - I just wanted to know if… if you wanted me to give your cassette too… _He sighed._ But if you’re not ready then I won’t… I won’t tell them anything.

She fell silent for a while.

    - I can't... _She cried._ It's too hard.

    - I know... But you're not alone Jess. _He sighed._ You have your friends and your family.

    - What do you think my dad will say about this? _She panicked._ _  
_

    - I think he'll want to protect his little girl...

    - He'll be so fucking angry. He'll be disgust and...

    - Jess... _He interrupted her._ I know you're scared but he's your father, he won't be angry or disgust, not at you at least. Believe me, I've seen enough of your father to know he'll do anything for you.

    - And everyone at school...

    - I don't care what anyone thinks okay? I won't let him touch me... Not again. _He paused trying to contain himself._ We can’t let him get away with it… I don’t want anyone else to have to go through this…

She nodded, wiping a tear dripping down his face. He turned around to leave, sure it was her final decision. But she stopped him.

    - You can give it to them, _she said with a shaky voice._ It’ll give me time to talk with my dad before they come here… No one should have to live what we lived Justin... What Hannah lived...

    - Thank you, _he said,_ really…

She nodded once more as he turned back around walking to Alex’s car.

    - Justin, _she called out._

He turned back to her.

    - I meant it… When I said I never wished for you to know what it felt like…

He bit his lip keeping a sob from coming out.

    - I already knew for a while, _he finally said,_ and I wished I had been strong enough to do something before.

She still had so much anger toward him, inside of her but she sympathized with him in a way, with the feelings he must have in his chest, just like she did.

************************************

    - Are you ready? _Alex asked closing his hand around Justin’s_

    - Yeah, _He breathed out._

Alex pulled him into a kiss. Deep and passionate, hoping to give him the courage he needed.

    - I love you, _Alex said._ No matter what happens I’ll always love you.

He kissed him one more time before following him inside the police station.

    - I love you too

And for the first time in his life he meant it.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, it means a lot. Leave a comment if you want.  
> Sorry for the mistakes, english is not my first language.
> 
> Love you,  
> Lauren xxxx


End file.
